(Yasha and Beau are exploring together. Alone, just the two of them. Which is fine, nobody else wanted to come with them. Molly is in love with the baths and he likes to lie in the hot water and nod off and then he likes to sit in the steam room and roast himself until he's crisp, and all the while he eats and drinks, little bits and pieces of whatever he finds most tasty. He calls it hedonism; Yasha calls it over-indulgence. Jester has found bees to keep and pastries to eat, and things to doodle many dicks on and she's done a lot of exploring herself, apparently, but Beau still has energy and Yasha still wants to look around so...
Here they are. It's a bit quiet, they're just walking. Yasha is making them both stop every so often so she can pick a few flowers here and there. What she's found on Io so far is different to anything she's found on any of the other islands, which doesn't entirely make sense to her but she's happy for it all the same. She's already pressed a number of blooms carefully into her little book, dog-earring pages with her thumb as she goes to remind her where she's put them.
She's shutting the book again when something in the distance off to their extreme right catches her eye.)
Beau. (She's interrupting a story or a joke or something, but hopefully Beau won't mind. She points in the direction of what she's seen: it looks like a large ring, partially hidden by trees. Only the top half is visible. She squints and stands, raising a hand to shield her eyes.)
[Part of her feels like they're existing in a liminal space right now. Not that Beau has never been alone with Yasha, or somehow she doesn't know the other woman well enough to go off alone with her, more that... it's just rare they're willingly just the two of them. Yasha wanders off to be on her own a lot; Beau can respect that. But now they're out here in the great wide nowhere, without a mission, without a plan, just... together.
It's nice. Beau's a little scared of how nice it is, in fact, for someone who's only ever had the rug pulled out from under them.
They end up talking, finding flowers, Beau likely off on some tirade about some idiot here before she's snapped to attention by Yasha's words. Her eyes follow the other woman's gaze, tipping herself up on her toes to try and get a better look. (As if, somehow, that she'll see better than Yasha, who's like a foot taller than her. Please.)]
What is it?
[Is it some kind of... house? No, it's hollow in the middle. She hedges a guess, even though it doesn't seem plausible, but she's already walking that direction now.]
Is that a water wheel? You know, what they use in making bread and stuff like that.
... I don't know. (She doesn't sound exasperated though, she sounds curious.) It's too big to be a water wheel.
(Unless they are making, like... really, really big loaves of bread over there. That's an interesting thought. Her stomach rumbles, and she blinks, and shifts a little in place, deciding to ignore it and not call attention to it to potentially keep Beau from noticing.)
Come on. Let's go and see. (Flowerquest has been abandoned. Now there is a new quest: find out what the giant wheel is. Yasha doubts she needs to tell Beau twice to come along, because she is always down for adventure. That is something that she likes about her, that she'll try anything at least once.)
[Ironically, that's one of Beau's favorite things about Yasha too- she won't spend so much time talking about something at the expense of just doing it. She's interested and is happy to be the... kind of parent to everyone's shenanigans. Close enough.]
Hell yeah.
[She's already pacing along after as soon as Yasha changes direction, a half jog to get back to pace with the other woman as the direction pivots. It's not long until they break the treeline that obscures most of the wheel, and they can start to get a better look at the structure. Beau tilts her head in thought as she looks at it, contemplating a few different options.]
... Are those lights on it? Don't think it's on fire.
(Yasha's trying to get on her tip toes to see it better. Her extra height doesn't afford her any extra clarity, though.)
Can't smell any smoke. (Definitely not on fire, but... lit up all the same. Weird. No point in standing here wondering what it is though, not when she could be seeing it up close for herself.) Maybe it's magic.
(She's continuing to walk. They're not far off, and when she finally breaks through the clearing that is obscuring the wheel in its entirety, well... it doesn't really make the situation any clearer. Yasha simply stops, and stares.)
Is... it a building? (She doesn't sound very convinced.)
[She's mostly just thinking out loud until she gets more of it into view, which is... confusing. It's absolutely some kind of wheel, but most wheels she know of serve some kind of function- they don't take power just for the sake of them turning. Beau looks at the chambers, things hanging off it and swinging loose. Are those chairs?]
Still pretty sure that's some kind of wheel.
[Right in turn, it makes a noise and begins to turn again, slowly going from a stop to a faster pace. Beau just squints and cocks her head.]
I'm gonna go with windmill. But I think there are people on it.
(It's a rhetorical question. She's frowning at the wheel, one hand on her hip... Beau, obviously just as confused as she is about the whole thing. It does look like you're supposed to get into it... and then, as she watches the thing start to turn, shifting the little carriages up, she gets it.)
Oh. It's– look. (She touches Beau's shoulder, points to direct her gaze upward.)
It's a look-out. You must be able to see everything from up there. (It's actually pretty clever, now that she knows what it's for. Also...) Do you think they'd let us try it?
[She's still puzzling when Yasha gets a damn good idea, and she nods shallowly as she turns over that answer in her mind.]
Why does it have so many lights on it? Everyone can see it. Is it just for fun?
[If it's not a tactical thing, maybe it's just a fun thing. People love to stare out over places from high up, but she's never seen a machine built just for that.]
C'mon, lets find out. Bet we can get in at least once. Or just climb it.
[She'll fight that big metal wheel don't test her not even once]
(Oh, she didn't think about the lights. Maybe it's a bluff. Maybe it's a show of power, that this place has such a showy lookout and they don't care who knows. Either way, it kind of... does look like fun.)
[The challenge makes her mouth instinctively pull into a grin, an excited spark in her eyes.]
Not a chance. C'mon, let's go.
[She's walking faster as they get to the wheel, a half time step instead of a full count to get closer. It just keeps looking taller, and it's exhilarating. Once they get closer to the base though, they can see it fully in view, and Beau can finally tell what those spinning things are.]
(For every half time step Beau takes, Yasha simply does a full stride, and they keep pace like that comfortably until they reach the wheel. It's huge up close. What's also huge is the gate that circles it, but opens up at the front, funneling people toward where the carriages touch the ground, and open their doors one at a time.
It's not for climbing. It's for sitting in. That's less fun than what she had in mind, but... she still wants to go up.)
Oh.
(And without further ado, she links her arm through Beau's so she can tug her toward the opening in the gate.) Come on. We can take that one.
(It almost looks like it's waiting for them to use it, after all.)
(Yasha likes to think she knows Beau well enough to realise when something isn't quite right between the two of them. It's a strange feeling, to think she's been with her long enough to establish a normalcy, but that's where they're at. Yasha is comfortable with Beau. And Beau... isn't happy with her.
Is it because she left? Yasha instinctively wants to get defensive about that, because she didn't, but she's trying to see it from the different perspective. Beau never quite seemed to find peace with her taking off in the first place, after all. Yasha isn't sure why, but she's noticed over time that her absence doesn't sit well with Beau. Maybe she needs some reassurance. Maybe she should know that Yasha would tell her before she left, if she wanted her to. If it would make her feel better.
It's well enough to think all of these things, and another thing entirely to say them.
Yasha finds her alone outside of the house. Not gone from it entirely, but hanging moodily around outside, sitting cross-legged on the ground. Meditating?
She comes to sit next to her. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to be sitting with her rather than opposite her, across from her. Or away from her. She doesn't want to give Beau reason to think she's about to run out on them.)
[Meditating is one word for it. It's unfortunate that her time spent in proximity to the ocean has lessened some of it's calming effects; it's not enough to just sit on the beach and listen for the waves anymore. But she still tries, more to stretch and because she knows she isn't usually bothered when she's like this. It's a convenient way to be alone if she needs it.
And yet, Yasha is far from an unwelcome distraction, despite the emotions churning in her gut about the other woman.
Beau exhales like she was actually doing some fancy meditation stuff, and opens an eye to look at Yasha.]
'Mm just wasting time.
[She arches her eyebrow, as if encouraging the oncoming conversation.]
(Well... it's not strictly a 'yes', is it. Beau isn't usually vague with Yasha, so for a moment she simply sits there and looks at her hands, unsure if she's supposed to interpret this as 'it's a bad time' or 'sure, we can talk'. Hmm.
She solves the problem by letting the silence extend between them for a solid thirty seconds before she says anything else.)
Are you okay?
(There's nothing to pick at, no grass to shred blade by blade between her fingernails. She lifts her gaze from her hands, and out toward the ocean. When she speaks again, her voice is halting, uncertain.)
[It's as close to a yes as Beau is giving. She's always been kind of shitty about giving actual answers, and she can already tell that's pretty much all of what this conversation is going to be. But she's... trying. Sure. Trying.
Beau opens her other eye, drifting her gaze a little lower, not quite staring her down.]
It's not-- at you. It wasn't your fault, so.
[But when Beau thought it was, damn, it hurt. That sort of thing just doesn't become okay when you've been hinging on getting some questions answered, and in a moment they all became the wrong ones to ask. It's been eating at her, but people notice when things are a problem now. Beau's not sure she's entirely used to it yet.]
You just-- dropped off at about the same time as Fjord and Jess. Was kinda hard to deal with.
(Yasha bites back her first response-- that she couldn't help disappearing when she did, she had no decision in the matter. Beau knows that. Yasha's asking her to talk about it and she's doing that.)
Yeah, (she says instead. If it were her, and Fjord and Jester disappeared and then Beau followed suit? It wouldn't be easy. It would be her and Mollymauk left, and she'd be concerned about him leaving too.
She glances across at Beau, then down, following her gaze.)
... I'm sorry. (Not for leaving, that's not what she means. She shakes her head a little, and clears her throat. Her voice is soft.) That it all happened at once, you know.
(This kind of emotional vulnerability clearly takes a bit of easing into. Yasha sighs, and scrubs her hand through the back of her hair while Beau talks.)
Yeah.
I've been noticing that about you. You don't like it when I leave. (Molly is used to it. He calls it 'Yasha-ing', and he welcomes her back kindly when she reappears, but... well, he's never told her he doesn't like it. Beau hasn't either, but Yasha isn't stupid.)
If... if you want, (she offers, glancing back, catching Beau's gaze and holding it for a beat while she thinks.) Um... I could tell you, when I'm planning to leave. So that it isn't a surprise for you.
[Noticing that, she says. About you, she says. Beau's heart leaps in her chest, because since when is she a person worth noticing, but it all slots back into place again quickly. They've been here... a long time. Longer than Beau has ever known how to handle being in one place, but it's somehow not been bad to find the predictability of waking up with Yasha in the same house, with Molly's laughter ringing out from the kitchen when she steps in from morning training to see him telling some kind of joke. The rest of the Nein were well on their way to becoming this close, but they're...
It's something else, now. And the panic over losing Yasha, the fear of suddenly seeing herself as dispensable enough for the other woman to lose, struck something she doesn't like to acknowledge.
The beat their eyes meet feels like a century, and Beau almost can't recover in time. Almost. She's always been good at getting back up, no matter the circumstance.]
You noticed? I mean, it. I guess I didn't expect you to be paying attention about stuff like that. If it's what you need to do, you should, uh, do it.
[No, no, Yasha is asking for something here-- trying to help. Beau takes a steadying breath, and continues.]
It'd be cool to know, though. Just since people disappear into nowhere here. Just knowing you should still be... around, somewhere, and not totally gone.
(Beau's immediate response is a little disappointing, and Yasha's shoulders slacken, and she looks away. That wasn't what she meant. Leaving is something that she needs to do every so often and she is going to do it, that is always how it's going to be, but– she's offering an olive branch here, placing it down carefully, edging it between the two of them. Beau is brushing it aside.
She doesn't have to stew in that for long, though. After a beat, Beau continues, and Yasha looks back at her. Does she look as surprised as she feels? She isn't surprised that Beau conceded to her idea, she's more taken aback by how it makes her feel. Warm inside. Happy. She smiles, a little twitch of her lips.)
Okay.
(It seems like a step forward, and Yasha really likes the thought of Beau not having to worry about her when she goes. She relaxes again, her gaze softening.) It's a deal, then. (And she holds out her pinky finger to her.)
[She smiles, and Beau can feel her heart lift, a lightness she hasn't been able to find in herself over the worry of Yasha's disappearance. She's here and with Beau and she's happy, and something about considering that is making her pulse race. But without even thinking, she reaches out and just... puts a hand over Yasha's pinky.
And then stops, sees what she did, and removes it.]
Uh, it's-- just the finger, right.
[Here ok pinkys locked she Has This, Everyone,,,,]
... Sorry if I made you think I was mad at you. I just... felt like I was gonna lose everyone. Or maybe lose me.
(But Beau throwing her entire hand in still made Yasha laugh, and that loosens the tension a little. Gesture corrected, she shakes Beau's pinky finger in all seriousness, though her mouth still twitches a little at the corners, threatening another smile.)
It's okay. (She gets it. Honestly, it reminds her of the time that she woke up on the ship and everybody was gone. Yasha had thought they'd left her then, and it makes sense as to why Beau's thoughts leapt to a similar conclusion. Perhaps reassurance would help.)
(Hi hello, Yasha's blown in like a whirlwind, a tempest in her eyes and in the furrow of her brow. This isn't a completely fair representation of the conversation she's had with Molly but she can't find the words for his trembling hand at her cheek, or the slow blink of his wet eyelashes. Nor does she want to. But she needs Beau's help on this right now, because otherwise she thinks she's going to break something with her hands just to help with how useless she feels.)
Beau, he won't– listen to me, he won't fight it with me. I don't understand why.
[Beau almost immediately scowls, putting down the book she has in her hands immediately and cracking her knuckles.]
Is he being fucking stupid about it again? I told his dumb ass a million times, he's coming the fuck home and he's gonna be fine. He's fine here. What's so hard to get about that?
(Yasha pauses in her unhappy pacing to stare Beau down, hands clenched.) Did... he already talk to you about this?
(Her and Molly haven't been talking about it. Yasha supposes it would even be fair to say that they'd been actively avoiding the subject but... even so.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
backdated july
Here they are. It's a bit quiet, they're just walking. Yasha is making them both stop every so often so she can pick a few flowers here and there. What she's found on Io so far is different to anything she's found on any of the other islands, which doesn't entirely make sense to her but she's happy for it all the same. She's already pressed a number of blooms carefully into her little book, dog-earring pages with her thumb as she goes to remind her where she's put them.
She's shutting the book again when something in the distance off to their extreme right catches her eye.)
Beau. (She's interrupting a story or a joke or something, but hopefully Beau won't mind. She points in the direction of what she's seen: it looks like a large ring, partially hidden by trees. Only the top half is visible. She squints and stands, raising a hand to shield her eyes.)
Look.
no subject
It's nice. Beau's a little scared of how nice it is, in fact, for someone who's only ever had the rug pulled out from under them.
They end up talking, finding flowers, Beau likely off on some tirade about some idiot here before she's snapped to attention by Yasha's words. Her eyes follow the other woman's gaze, tipping herself up on her toes to try and get a better look. (As if, somehow, that she'll see better than Yasha, who's like a foot taller than her. Please.)]
What is it?
[Is it some kind of... house? No, it's hollow in the middle. She hedges a guess, even though it doesn't seem plausible, but she's already walking that direction now.]
Is that a water wheel? You know, what they use in making bread and stuff like that.
no subject
(Unless they are making, like... really, really big loaves of bread over there. That's an interesting thought. Her stomach rumbles, and she blinks, and shifts a little in place, deciding to ignore it and not call attention to it to potentially keep Beau from noticing.)
Come on. Let's go and see. (Flowerquest has been abandoned. Now there is a new quest: find out what the giant wheel is. Yasha doubts she needs to tell Beau twice to come along, because she is always down for adventure. That is something that she likes about her, that she'll try anything at least once.)
no subject
Hell yeah.
[She's already pacing along after as soon as Yasha changes direction, a half jog to get back to pace with the other woman as the direction pivots. It's not long until they break the treeline that obscures most of the wheel, and they can start to get a better look at the structure. Beau tilts her head in thought as she looks at it, contemplating a few different options.]
... Are those lights on it? Don't think it's on fire.
no subject
Can't smell any smoke. (Definitely not on fire, but... lit up all the same. Weird. No point in standing here wondering what it is though, not when she could be seeing it up close for herself.) Maybe it's magic.
(She's continuing to walk. They're not far off, and when she finally breaks through the clearing that is obscuring the wheel in its entirety, well... it doesn't really make the situation any clearer. Yasha simply stops, and stares.)
Is... it a building? (She doesn't sound very convinced.)
no subject
[She's mostly just thinking out loud until she gets more of it into view, which is... confusing. It's absolutely some kind of wheel, but most wheels she know of serve some kind of function- they don't take power just for the sake of them turning. Beau looks at the chambers, things hanging off it and swinging loose. Are those chairs?]
Still pretty sure that's some kind of wheel.
[Right in turn, it makes a noise and begins to turn again, slowly going from a stop to a faster pace. Beau just squints and cocks her head.]
I'm gonna go with windmill. But I think there are people on it.
no subject
(It's a rhetorical question. She's frowning at the wheel, one hand on her hip... Beau, obviously just as confused as she is about the whole thing. It does look like you're supposed to get into it... and then, as she watches the thing start to turn, shifting the little carriages up, she gets it.)
Oh. It's– look. (She touches Beau's shoulder, points to direct her gaze upward.)
It's a look-out. You must be able to see everything from up there. (It's actually pretty clever, now that she knows what it's for. Also...) Do you think they'd let us try it?
no subject
Why does it have so many lights on it? Everyone can see it. Is it just for fun?
[If it's not a tactical thing, maybe it's just a fun thing. People love to stare out over places from high up, but she's never seen a machine built just for that.]
C'mon, lets find out. Bet we can get in at least once. Or just climb it.
[She'll fight that big metal wheel don't test her not even once]
no subject
I want to go up in it.
(It is an answer to Beau's question, in a way.)
I bet I could beat you to the top.
no subject
Not a chance. C'mon, let's go.
[She's walking faster as they get to the wheel, a half time step instead of a full count to get closer. It just keeps looking taller, and it's exhilarating. Once they get closer to the base though, they can see it fully in view, and Beau can finally tell what those spinning things are.]
Oh, there's chairs. So they do want you to go up.
no subject
It's not for climbing. It's for sitting in. That's less fun than what she had in mind, but... she still wants to go up.)
Oh.
(And without further ado, she links her arm through Beau's so she can tug her toward the opening in the gate.) Come on. We can take that one.
(It almost looks like it's waiting for them to use it, after all.)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
wrap this one up?
backdated to sept
Is it because she left? Yasha instinctively wants to get defensive about that, because she didn't, but she's trying to see it from the different perspective. Beau never quite seemed to find peace with her taking off in the first place, after all. Yasha isn't sure why, but she's noticed over time that her absence doesn't sit well with Beau. Maybe she needs some reassurance. Maybe she should know that Yasha would tell her before she left, if she wanted her to. If it would make her feel better.
It's well enough to think all of these things, and another thing entirely to say them.
Yasha finds her alone outside of the house. Not gone from it entirely, but hanging moodily around outside, sitting cross-legged on the ground. Meditating?
She comes to sit next to her. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to be sitting with her rather than opposite her, across from her. Or away from her. She doesn't want to give Beau reason to think she's about to run out on them.)
Hey. Are... you busy? Can I talk to you?
claps like a goblin
And yet, Yasha is far from an unwelcome distraction, despite the emotions churning in her gut about the other woman.
Beau exhales like she was actually doing some fancy meditation stuff, and opens an eye to look at Yasha.]
'Mm just wasting time.
[She arches her eyebrow, as if encouraging the oncoming conversation.]
no subject
She solves the problem by letting the silence extend between them for a solid thirty seconds before she says anything else.)
Are you okay?
(There's nothing to pick at, no grass to shred blade by blade between her fingernails. She lifts her gaze from her hands, and out toward the ocean. When she speaks again, her voice is halting, uncertain.)
You seem... angry. With me. Or upset.
no subject
Beau opens her other eye, drifting her gaze a little lower, not quite staring her down.]
It's not-- at you. It wasn't your fault, so.
[But when Beau thought it was, damn, it hurt. That sort of thing just doesn't become okay when you've been hinging on getting some questions answered, and in a moment they all became the wrong ones to ask. It's been eating at her, but people notice when things are a problem now. Beau's not sure she's entirely used to it yet.]
You just-- dropped off at about the same time as Fjord and Jess. Was kinda hard to deal with.
no subject
Yeah, (she says instead. If it were her, and Fjord and Jester disappeared and then Beau followed suit? It wouldn't be easy. It would be her and Mollymauk left, and she'd be concerned about him leaving too.
She glances across at Beau, then down, following her gaze.)
... I'm sorry. (Not for leaving, that's not what she means. She shakes her head a little, and clears her throat. Her voice is soft.) That it all happened at once, you know.
no subject
You didn't pick it. Even if I thought you might have.
[They're thinking the same thing, in the end, hung on the same worry they won't speak. Beau crosses her arms, daring a glance Yasha's way.]
It's just a lot of bullshit. To have been around everybody and suddenly just have it be me n' Molly.
no subject
Yeah.
I've been noticing that about you. You don't like it when I leave. (Molly is used to it. He calls it 'Yasha-ing', and he welcomes her back kindly when she reappears, but... well, he's never told her he doesn't like it. Beau hasn't either, but Yasha isn't stupid.)
If... if you want, (she offers, glancing back, catching Beau's gaze and holding it for a beat while she thinks.) Um... I could tell you, when I'm planning to leave. So that it isn't a surprise for you.
no subject
It's something else, now. And the panic over losing Yasha, the fear of suddenly seeing herself as dispensable enough for the other woman to lose, struck something she doesn't like to acknowledge.
The beat their eyes meet feels like a century, and Beau almost can't recover in time. Almost. She's always been good at getting back up, no matter the circumstance.]
You noticed? I mean, it. I guess I didn't expect you to be paying attention about stuff like that. If it's what you need to do, you should, uh, do it.
[No, no, Yasha is asking for something here-- trying to help. Beau takes a steadying breath, and continues.]
It'd be cool to know, though. Just since people disappear into nowhere here. Just knowing you should still be... around, somewhere, and not totally gone.
no subject
She doesn't have to stew in that for long, though. After a beat, Beau continues, and Yasha looks back at her. Does she look as surprised as she feels? She isn't surprised that Beau conceded to her idea, she's more taken aback by how it makes her feel. Warm inside. Happy. She smiles, a little twitch of her lips.)
Okay.
(It seems like a step forward, and Yasha really likes the thought of Beau not having to worry about her when she goes. She relaxes again, her gaze softening.) It's a deal, then. (And she holds out her pinky finger to her.)
no subject
And then stops, sees what she did, and removes it.]
Uh, it's-- just the finger, right.
[Here ok pinkys locked she Has This, Everyone,,,,]
... Sorry if I made you think I was mad at you. I just... felt like I was gonna lose everyone. Or maybe lose me.
no subject
(But Beau throwing her entire hand in still made Yasha laugh, and that loosens the tension a little. Gesture corrected, she shakes Beau's pinky finger in all seriousness, though her mouth still twitches a little at the corners, threatening another smile.)
It's okay. (She gets it. Honestly, it reminds her of the time that she woke up on the ship and everybody was gone. Yasha had thought they'd left her then, and it makes sense as to why Beau's thoughts leapt to a similar conclusion. Perhaps reassurance would help.)
I'm not going to leave you. Not on purpose.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
wrap this one?
yes also nice icon lezzer
I COULD SAY THAT FOR YOU TOO ok wrapped now ikfdhlugsdi
this inbox belongs to me
(Hi hello, Yasha's blown in like a whirlwind, a tempest in her eyes and in the furrow of her brow. This isn't a completely fair representation of the conversation she's had with Molly but she can't find the words for his trembling hand at her cheek, or the slow blink of his wet eyelashes. Nor does she want to. But she needs Beau's help on this right now, because otherwise she thinks she's going to break something with her hands just to help with how useless she feels.)
Beau, he won't– listen to me, he won't fight it with me. I don't understand why.
damn right it does
Is he being fucking stupid about it again? I told his dumb ass a million times, he's coming the fuck home and he's gonna be fine. He's fine here. What's so hard to get about that?
no subject
(Yasha pauses in her unhappy pacing to stare Beau down, hands clenched.) Did... he already talk to you about this?
(Her and Molly haven't been talking about it. Yasha supposes it would even be fair to say that they'd been actively avoiding the subject but... even so.)