(Yasha nods mutely, because she does understand that feeling. The closer she gets to other people, letting them in bit by bit, the harder it is to ignore the somber line-up of ghosts out of the corner of her eye: Zuala, Mollymauk, one behind the other. Who will be next? Sometimes she pays that thought too much attention, and becomes lost in it.
Anyway. Now certainly isn't the time.)
Well, (she says eventually, thinking carefully of what she wants to say before she says it,) I... think that what you need to remember is that you're not alone this time. If someone bigger comes to smack you down the rest of us will smack them right back, and we'll kill them. For you. Because you... belong with us. And we won't let anybody take things from you again.
[It's always this that's complicated for her, the understanding that her problems deserve any merit. Yasha has to live with deaths on her hands, and all Beau has to live with is disappointment. Her parents are still alive. Contacts she's missed might be out, but she never had friends before the Nein. It's just Mollymauk on her list-- even though that still feels incredibly personal, a wound that never healed right with the man continuing to be by her side.
But Beau listens. Tries to take it in with her face blank, her expression unreadable. But eventually, she nods, at least promising she heard the words Yasha spoke.]
Yeah. I mean, it's... it's fucked up. It's just fucked up. The only thing I have to lose is like... me, I guess. You guys are the ones who have dead people around. I just have issues with my dad.
Issues are issues, (Yasha says, after chewing on the words for a moment,) you're right that they're different, but they still hurt.
(And this hurts Beau, so it's important, and Yasha wants to try to understand it. Perhaps they're not there yet, but Beau hasn't told her to leave or anything, so... she must be getting somewhere, even if only one small step at a time.)
[Why can't she just believe what Yasha says here? Why can't she find any value in her own damn self? And why, despite all of this, is she just happy that Yasha is still here with her?]
'Mm glad you're here. Just, in-- in general. I'm glad you keep coming back.
[Beau isn't the kind of person to cry-- at least, she tries not to be. But she makes sure they're linked here, scooting forward and finally just lying her forhead on Yasha's shoulder.]
Can we just sit here for a bit? I'm so fuckin' tired.
(That's good, that Beau feels that way. It's good how her saying that makes Yasha feel too, if she's allowed to be selfish for a moment and enjoy a small part of this conversation. Especially when Beau scoots closer, and drops her forehead onto her shoulder, solid and warm. Yasha's breath catches.)
... Of course.
(She goes through the motion of raising an arm twice before she finally commits to it, resting her palm lightly against Beau's back and rubbing slowly, in a little circle. She'll sit here forever if it means that Beau will find a tiny bit of peace through the places they're both touching.)
I COULD SAY THAT FOR YOU TOO ok wrapped now ikfdhlugsdi
[If Beau opens her eyes, really takes the time to think about the feelings she's having right now, she'd probably barf up her own heart in t minus no seconds. Therefore, she's decided to simply Not Do This, by keeping her eyes closed, face pressed into Yasha's shoulder and just thinking about breathing in and out. Emotions? Don't know her.
Beau just responds with a grunt, and then decides to stop dealing with any of it, letting herself rest and be quiet. That, in itself, is enough.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Anyway. Now certainly isn't the time.)
Well, (she says eventually, thinking carefully of what she wants to say before she says it,) I... think that what you need to remember is that you're not alone this time. If someone bigger comes to smack you down the rest of us will smack them right back, and we'll kill them. For you. Because you... belong with us. And we won't let anybody take things from you again.
no subject
But Beau listens. Tries to take it in with her face blank, her expression unreadable. But eventually, she nods, at least promising she heard the words Yasha spoke.]
Yeah. I mean, it's... it's fucked up. It's just fucked up. The only thing I have to lose is like... me, I guess. You guys are the ones who have dead people around. I just have issues with my dad.
no subject
(And this hurts Beau, so it's important, and Yasha wants to try to understand it. Perhaps they're not there yet, but Beau hasn't told her to leave or anything, so... she must be getting somewhere, even if only one small step at a time.)
You feel what you feel. You know?
wrap this one?
Yeah.
[Why can't she just believe what Yasha says here? Why can't she find any value in her own damn self? And why, despite all of this, is she just happy that Yasha is still here with her?]
'Mm glad you're here. Just, in-- in general. I'm glad you keep coming back.
[Beau isn't the kind of person to cry-- at least, she tries not to be. But she makes sure they're linked here, scooting forward and finally just lying her forhead on Yasha's shoulder.]
Can we just sit here for a bit? I'm so fuckin' tired.
yes also nice icon lezzer
(That's good, that Beau feels that way. It's good how her saying that makes Yasha feel too, if she's allowed to be selfish for a moment and enjoy a small part of this conversation. Especially when Beau scoots closer, and drops her forehead onto her shoulder, solid and warm. Yasha's breath catches.)
... Of course.
(She goes through the motion of raising an arm twice before she finally commits to it, resting her palm lightly against Beau's back and rubbing slowly, in a little circle. She'll sit here forever if it means that Beau will find a tiny bit of peace through the places they're both touching.)
I COULD SAY THAT FOR YOU TOO ok wrapped now ikfdhlugsdi
Beau just responds with a grunt, and then decides to stop dealing with any of it, letting herself rest and be quiet. That, in itself, is enough.]